


Operation Friend Zone

by tmwillson3



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Awkwardness, Canon Compliant, Comedy, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Luke Skywalker, Porg shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-05-26 23:52:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15012131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmwillson3/pseuds/tmwillson3
Summary: Post TLJ. When Ben Solo decides to leave the First Order, he realizes that he needs to make people like him within the Resistance. Inspired by something Rey said, he goes undercover as Matt the Radar Technician and joins the Resistance for a month as they work to finish off the First Order. Between nesting porgs, playing jokes on Poe, remembering Finn's name, and making sure that Rey doesn't realize who he is, he's got his hands full.





	1. Operation Escape Old Friends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Crysania](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crysania/gifts).



> No, I don't own Star Wars, SNL, or anything else I reference. All rights go to their respective owners.
> 
> I recently discovered Reydar, and while discussing my newest interest with Crysania, she gave me a fantastic prompt/idea for a fic. What if Ben came to the Resistance, instead of Rey going to the First Order? We hadn't seen much of that yet. So this story was born, and is dedicated to her.
> 
> I'm involved with the ReyLo Fic Recs group on Facebook, and this week's Drabble Me This is an image from EllenSama. It's a beautiful Reydar photomanipulation, so check it out on tumblr! For my third contribution to Reydar and this week's prompt, here the first chapter of much silliness to come as Ben has adventures with the Resistance. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

“I'm tired of this. I need a change, Rey.”

 

“What do you have in mind, Ben?” she asked eagerly, leaning toward him through their bond.

 

“This isn't what I thought it'd be, and it's not what I want to do. The First Order isn't my vision anymore,” he answered by way of explanation. 

 

“So you want to leave the First Order? Does that mean you'll come here?” she asked, her eyes growing more excited. 

 

Here meaning the Resistance. The group that, after a year of rebuilding, had done a bang-up job of becoming stronger than they had before Rey had joined.  

 

He didn't care. They both told one another trade secrets. She used them sometimes, but he didn't anymore. He had stopped trying once he realized that giving away information about her meant that she could be attacked, or worse, killed. 

 

At least once a week, she told him about what the Resistance was planning, and he was glad that they were almost ready to launch an attack against the First Order. In two months, they'd be ready. One month if they had the right information.

 

When he didn't respond to her question right away, she continued by saying, “I wish you were here when it all goes down. I want you with me when we burn it to the ground.”

 

The fact that she really did want him, and wasn't afraid to admit it, still stunned him every time. Her dislike of the First Order stemmed directly from him: that group kept him from her, as well as upset him.

 

She'd stand up to anything or anyone that stood between her and him, or threatened to hurt him.

 

“I can't come to you, though. No one would welcome me,” he said, treading on old ground.

 

“That's because they haven't had a chance to get to know you like I have. If they did, then they would love-"

 

She stopped suddenly, not wanting to finish that thought. They hadn't admitted that they loved one another yet, but both had come close. 

 

“-to spend time with you. They just need to get over their old opinions by seeing you in a new way or something,” she said, grasping for something while trying to play off the dangerous word.

 

Ben sighed. She had almost admitted it. He wanted to hear it so much, as he was afraid to be first.

 

“What we both need is more time. When I figure out how to be in two places at once, you'll know,” he said, a little dejectedly.

 

The connection closed after that, and Ben was left to his own thoughts. The only way he could even leave the ship without being questioned was if he went on a mission with his Knights of Ren. 

 

They  _ were _ on assignment, looking for relics at present…..

 

He  _ could _ leave if he wanted. All he would have to do was claim that they had sent a mystical distress signal through the Force that he had to answer.

 

It wasn't as though his mother or Luke was there to sass or call him out on what he said.

 

But what about Rey and the Resistance? How could he spend time with them as himself, and show them that he wasn't all bad? Without them realizing it?

 

His thoughts went back to Rey's jumbled, rushed words. For once, not dwelling on her inability to say the word.

 

How could he create a new look? A costume! That's what he needed!

 

Everyone recognized him looking a certain way; all he had to do was look different. He could help them finish off the First Order, and at the end, he would show himself. They'd _have_ to accept him then.

 

His mind full of his idea, he settled himself at his desk and used his calligraphy set to write out the plan. His grand plan needed a name, one that seemed innocuous if the wrong person saw it.

 

Seeing as the whole point of the plan was to join and be accepted by the Resistance, he called his plan Operation Friend Zone. 

 

His first step in the plan was Operation Escape Old Friends.  It was time to leave the First Order, just as that traitor - no, not anymore since he was worse and taking it up a notch, defecting as Supreme Leader - that former stormtrooper had done. 

 

He'd have to learn that guy's name at some point, instead of being lazy and calling him the traitor.

 

He outlined his steps and then thought through what to say to his underlings and to the Resistance. When he was satisfied, he wrote down the next step, Operation Make New Friends. 

 

All he had to do was act normal and not Force-choke anyone. His temper had gotten better thanks to time with Rey, so he had that going for him.

His plan made, he packed up everything he would need to leave the First Order for good.

 

Then, he went in search of large mechanics and contractors. He needed normal clothes, not his preferred black.

 

After Force-choking and (gently) entering several minds to find someone who would actually own clothes big enough to fit him, he achieved his goal.

 

He had a week’s worth of clothes, having traded with the former owners for the clothing.

 

It was as he was finishing putting away the new clothes that he looked at himself in the mirror. 

 

Rey, the traitor (he really needed to remember that guy’s name), and Poe would take one look at his face, and know him instantly. That wouldn't do.

 

He went skulking about the ship one last time, his angry expression scaring everyone away. This time, he found a pair of glasses and a blond wig to hide the obvious features. 

 

Thus satisfied, he packed away his disguise and took all his belongings onto his Upsilon class fighter, no one the wiser.

 

After that, he made his way to his personal meditation room. There, he double-checked that Rey and the Resistance were still where she had last said they were.

 

Then, he made his escape.

 

Striding purposefully onto the main deck where Hux was located, along with everyone else beneath him, Ben put his plan into action.

 

“General Hux! I need to speak with you and your best men.” 

 

When Hux eyed him suspiciously, he tacked on, “Immediately!”

 

The menacing growl in his voice brought Hux and all around him to their leader at once.

 

“I was just meditating when I felt….a disturbance in the Force.”

 

“Has the Resistance managed to kill itself because of their collective stupidity?” sneered Hux.

 

Hux’s smile at his own joke died a quick death as he met the dark, cold eyes of a man who was rapidly growing tired of him.

 

“No. One of my Knights was injured. Shortly after that, one Knight contacted me through the Force. They're injured and in trouble.”

 

“Shall I send some of our stormtroopers to assist them?” asked one of the men beneath Hux.

 

Ben cursed internally. He hadn't thought about that. He hadn't thought that far ahead in general. They were just supposed to accept it, not ask lots of questions!

 

“No, the time it would take to assemble is too long. Also, this is in regard to a Jedi relic. Unless your men are Force-sensitive, they're useless. I must go.”

 

There, that sounded legitimate. 

 

“But how can you do anything when you're a Jedi Killer?” asked Hux with glee.

 

This time, all of the men felt the dark, overpowering anger of his gaze. They all knew they were  _ that close  _ to being Force-choked and killed. 

 

“Because. I. Can. Any other useless questions before I leave?” Ben demanded, his voice increasing in volume.

 

They all wisely chose to shut up.

 

“Good. Now, I may be gone for up to a month, depending on how long it takes to destroy this relic. No matter how long it takes, continue moving forward with training and arming our men. Make no attacks until I return.”

 

All assented.

 

“I expect you to contact me if problems arise,” he said, eyeing Hux.

 

Hux just grinned before saying, “Naturally, Supreme Leader.”

 

Now certain that he wouldn't be disturbed, he left in a flurry of black, glad to be leaving the confining place at last.

 

Just outside the door, he allowed himself to choke Hux one more time, just for old times’ sake. It would be the last time he could indulge in such things while he pretended to be Matt, a harmless - albeit strong - radar technician. 

 

Escape was easy after that. Everyone had been forewarned that he was in a hurry and in one of his….moods. 

 

He didn't care. He'd never see them again, anyway. All he had to do was just lift a hand a little bit, and everyone backed out of his way.

 

\------------

 

As he flew toward Chandrila, his old home, he did all in his power to clear his mind and cloak himself, as well as putting on a special metal bracelet. Snoke had given it to him for special missions when he needed to hide his Force signature, and he was glad he kept it. He didn't want Rey to recognize him at first, or his mother. 

 

No one else would, most likely. FN-2187 (he did have a name that sounded vaguely like his number, right?) would never suspect it. Poe, on the other hand, had seen his face somewhat recently, and had known him when younger. He'd have to be careful around him.

 

Not that he wanted to. Poe had always been the golden child, favored by all, including his mother. Poe had shoved it in his shy, awkward face.

 

All he wanted was to mess with Poe a  _ little _ bit. 

The interrogation about the map had meant to be purely objective as he got information from Poe, but he probably enjoyed it more than he should have. He'd have to see how Poe felt about it now.

 

Now, he just wanted to play a prank on Poe or make him look bad in front of Rey. He had no doubt that Poe was interested in Rey, as anyone would be a fool not to be. 

 

Chandrila looked exactly the same as the last time he had been there….. fifteen years ago.

 

There was greenery everywhere, a virtual paradise that had been left untouched by the First Order, mostly thanks to him.

 

He was glad he done so.

 

The last time he had been there was a vacation away from Luke, the last time he would see his parents in person for many years. 

 

Now, his father was dead, and he had no idea about his mother. The thought of her made him uncomfortable. 

 

The nature and waterfalls on the planet never ceased to amaze him. He used to exploring it when he was younger and able to escape supervision. He would have to show Rey some of the best spots one day.

 

He reviewed his story one last time before touching down in a neighboring field. From there, he walked until two guards dressed normally approached him. 

 

“Who are you? Why are you here?”

 

“I'm looking for the Resistance. I'm Matt, a radar technician. I had a bad run-in with the First Order recently after working for them for a while, and now I'm looking for sanctuary.”

 

They stared at his fake glasses and messy wig before waving him forward. 

 

“Follow us. You're close.”

 

They walked through the field until they came to a forest of old, tall trees. The third tree they passed was especially wide, and the bark was pockmarked.

 

The guards pressed in on a series of the holes until the trunk opened, allowing the three to venture into the heart of the underground base.

 

Eventually, they made it to the first security checkpoint, where he was fully searched. He had purposefully left his lightsaber on his ship, so he made it through without any issues. He would grab his crossguard saber later, after he knew where his room was.

 

As soon as he entered the main area holding the Resistance headquarters, he felt the presence of Rey and his mother instantly. 

 

While he feared seeing his mother after Han,  Luke, and their long separation, he felt hope about seeing Rey. 

 

As he looked at the technology around him, he was pleased to see that they had improved greatly since Crait. With his information, they could definitely take down the First Order in a month.

 

He was about to suggest they go in the direction of Rey when a series of small animals came waddling out of a room as they were being chased by a squealing BB-8.

 

“What the-”

 

“Look out!”

 

“Gotcha!”

 

Ben had always prided himself on his quick reflexes.  At that moment, he was eternally grateful for them as two women came flying out of the room the brown, fluffy things had just escaped from.

 

He didn't recognize the first voice as the owner came running at him. She wore baggy mechanic’s clothes and had black hair. Right before she would have hit him, he stepped aside, letting the guards deal with and catch her.

 

His mind was focused on the second voice; that one he knew. He watched as Rey came flying through the door and used the Force to pick up the mother bird and five baby chicks that followed her dutifully, though surprisingly quickly. 

 

It took him a few moments to recognize the birds, but soon he recalled them from lessons with Luke. They were porgs, native to and only found on Ahch-To. 

 

Who had gone there was a question for another time, as he soon became engrossed in watching Rey grab and cuddle the birds.

 

He could feel the female mechanic staring him down from behind, no doubt because he hadn't helped her. He didn't care; how important could one woman be?

 

He approached Rey until the porgs tried to escape her arms, giving him their famous soulful, wide eyes.

 

“What do they  _ want _ ?” he asked with fear as he backed away from Rey, his hands trying to shield him the sad gaze.

 

Rey finally turned and realized that someone else was close.

 

“Oi! Who are you? When did you get here?”

 

Her grip on the birds loosened as she took notice of him. That was when the porgs saw their means of escape. 

 

The mother wiggled and jumped free of Rey. Apparently, she hadn't realized how far off the ground she was, as her eyes suddenly became fearful and she let out a distressed wail.

 

Ben dove for her, using the Force just a little to make sure that she landed in his arms. As soon as she landed, the mother cooed and dove into the overalls that Ben wore. 

 

“Ack! Is this how you repay kindness?” he screamed, flailing and trying to get the bird out. 

 

“Hey, easy there….” said Rey, fishing for his name.

 

He continued to flail, not realizing that Rey was trying to help him and the creature that seemed to be nesting inside his overalls.

 

When Rey realized that talking wouldn't work, she put out a tentative hand to his. When their bare hands touched, she shivered involuntarily. 

 

When he felt her hand, he froze. The touch of recognition, the feeling of rightness, filled him up. He stared into her eyes, glad to not have any barrier of galaxies of space between them.

 

He continued to stare until he made her feel awkward. She yanked her hand away, saying, “Who  _ are _ you?”

 

“I'm Matt. A radar technician-"

 

“How did you get here?” she asked, immediately suspicious.

 

“A ship, clearly,” he stated, putting his hands on his hips.

 

“No, Matt, how did you and the ship get here? Are you a pilot as well?”

 

Ben cursed internally again. He  _ really  _ should have thought that part through more.

 

“I, uh, used to podrace growing up. Always could fly.”

 

Just like grandfather. 

 

“So why become a radar technician?” asked the unknown woman behind him. “Pilots get paid better.”

 

He wanted to shout at them and tell them to stop poking holes in his story, but restrained himself.

 

Really, for this whole day, he had done quite well. One day, others would appreciate his sacrifice and restraint. 

 

Eventually. Hopefully. 

 

“They didn't need pilots. They needed technicians, so I joined a contracting company on the  _ Finalizer.  _ There, I got let into a bunch of really cool rooms and saw stuff normal people don't. Everyone liked my work,” he said proudly, puffing out his chest.

 

“Then why are you here now?” asked a nonplussed Rey, clearly not impressed. 

 

“Because I had a run-in with the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren. He's scary, am I right? Powerful, bold, and brave, but scary.”

 

There, he said something negative about himself. 

 

The mechanic looked confused, and Rey was trying not to laugh. That irked him.

 

“What I'd say?”

 

“Your way of describing Ben, er, Kylo Ren, is unique, that's all,” said Rey. “And I don't know if you're going to get along with Rose, Poe, or Finn.”

 

_ That  _ was the stormtrooper’s name! At last!

 

His eyes lit up, and he punched his open hand. He knew he was close.

 

“What?” asked the woman, who Ben now realized was Rose.

 

“I just remembered something. The ship I stole belongs to Kylo Ren, if I'm not mistaken. Now I got that on him, too, ha!”

 

Rose looked truly impressed, and Rey frowned.

 

“You don't just  _ steal _ an Upsilon class ship from Kylo Ren. It's his personal craft,” Rey insisted. 

 

The fact that Rey felt so defensive about his ship made him feel a little better. Nonetheless, she asked too many questions, seeing right through him.

 

“ _ You  _ stole the  _ Millennium Falcon _ . Why can't I steal this one?” he said, fisting his hands at his sides defensively.

 

Rey stared at him in awe as Rose laughed. 

 

“Well, we have another spirited one with us. He hates Ren now, so he'll fit in well with us. I'm Rose. Welcome to the Resistance.”

 

Score! He was in!

 

“Finn! Poe! Come over here and meet our newest member,” shouted Rey.

 

As the men approached, Ben realized that the mother porg was still in his clothing. As the two guys appeared, he reached down his overalls and pulled out the porg, baffling the incoming men at once.

 

“This is Matt. He's a radar technician and pilot who used to work for the First Order. He's come to help,” explained Rey. “This is Poe, our leader in all but name, and Finn.”

 

Ben noticed that the mother seemed ready to leave a dropping or something like that, based on the constipated look in her eyes. He saw an opportunity and took it.

 

“Great to meet you. Here, will you hold this porg? Thanks,” he said to a surprised Poe.

 

Just as Poe took possession of the porg, she did indeed leave him a present on his shirt.

 

“Ugh! Why now? I just  _ washed  _ this shirt,” complained Poe.

 

Rose and Finn laughed while Rey shook her head.

 

“That's the law of porgs,” said Rey mockingly. “If you wash it, they will find it. And make it dirty again.”

 

Ben had to hide his grin. It threatened to fill his face with evil mirth. He was definitely going to pull more stunts on Poe like that.

 

“Porgs  _ like _ me,” he said, attempting to rub it in Poe’s face before picking up the porg and looking her dead in the eyes.

 

Just to mess with Poe a little more, he copied a move Poe had pulled on him with droids growing up. All the droids had always liked and preferred Poe.

 

“Hi, mother porg. I'm Matt. I'm going to take good care of you. Not like that jerkface Poe who you don't like.”

 

The bird stared at him - just as everyone else around him did after such a statement - with soulful eyes until he flashed a brief smile. Then, she dived back into his clothes, happy to have a new home and snuggle with him. 

 

“Do these things always like to nest in people's clothes?” he asked, looking up to face his new friends.

 

“Usually only when you're not wearing them,” said Finn, still trying to figure out if he liked the new guy or not.

 

Poe looked white and very confused. Good. Served him right.

 

“I think he's a porg whisperer, just like Rey,” whispered Rose in awe.

 

He shrugged. “I just like animals, especially small ones. They're so cute and harmless.”

 

Rey gave him a weird look before she excused herself. 

 

“I have a meeting with General Organa. I'll be back. Welcome again, Matt. I'm sure Finn and Poe will help you find a room.”

 

She disappeared, and he felt some of his goodwill follow her at once. He sighed. 

 

“So, what kind of cramped quarters do you have here?”

 

Poe looked insulted. Finn seemed to understand. 

 

“Nah, man, compared to the  _ Finalizer _ , you'll be doing well here. C’mon.”

 

Poe followed behind - still fuming based on Ben’s gleeful estimation - as Finn gave him a tour on the way to the living quarters. 

 

\----------

 

On the other side of the base, Rey sat down with a curious Leia.

 

“Rey, you're late. This is unlike you. What happened?”

 

“We have a new joiner to the Resistance. Somehow while aboard the Finalizer,  he left the First Order, stole your son’s personal ship, knew where we were, and flew himself here. He's…. different.”

 

Leia gave Rey a hard look. Not many men she knew were that different, except for maybe one…..

 

“Did he say or do anything else? Did he explain how he knew how to fly?”

 

“Well, he seems really familiar, as though we've met before, if that makes sense. His face reminds me of Ben a little.”

 

Leia's grin grew.

 

Rey paused to think about Ben for a moment, smiling warmly. Then she continued, “Somehow he knew what porgs were, and he said he used to podrace when he was young.”

 

Leia showed a knowing smile. If she were less dignified, then she would have snorted. She understood at once.

 

“I see. And I suppose he wants to help and be in intelligence?” 

 

“I don't know, actually. But I'll ask next time. Why?” Rey asked curiously. 

 

“It's one of those motherly instincts, or as you like to say, promptings from the Force. We can trust him. I'd like you to show him to me, just to be sure,” Leia said, getting up.

 

“Sure,” agreed Rey. “We can head to where the men are quartered.”

 

The women got there with a few minutes to spare thanks to the long tour Finn gave. When Leia saw Ben, her smile grew exponentially, filling her face with joy unlike anything Rey had ever seen before.

 

That was when Matt turned to face them. He saw Rey first, giving her a tentative smile and awkward wave as he tilted his head up in greeting.

 

Rey waved back, not sure what else to do about the weird, awkward guy.

 

When he spotted Leia, though, panic filled him for a moment. Then, he saw the joy on her face. The wide-eyed panic fled his face and was equally happy for a moment. Then, he seemed to recollect that he didn't know her and nodded before turning back to his new friends. 

 

“Go ahead and join them, Rey. I think he likes you,” said Leia, not taking her eyes off the new guy. “Just make sure to tell him that you won't put up with any of his crap. He has to listen to you, not do as he pleases.”

 

“Uh, sure,” said Rey, torn between amusement and mock obedience. 

 

“I'm being serious. I can already tell he's going to be trouble and stir things up here. It'll be good for us. But he'll listen to you. Oh, and remind me to tell you some stories about my father another time.”

 

Rey nodded, unsure how to respond to the general before heading toward Matt.

 

Once she was out of earshot, Leia whispered, “Welcome home, son.”

 

\---------

 

Ben had felt someone's presence nearby. He thought the happiness came from Rey, but there was no way it could without her knowing who he was. 

 

Then he saw his mother. Was she somehow able to recognize him through all that? It had felt like it. He hadn't expected to be welcomed back by her so easily.

 

As Rey approached without his mother, he sighed in relief. Step one of his plan was officially done. Now, he just had to find his crossguard saber, make friends with everyone somehow, without them finding out who he really was, and defeat the First Order.

 

He would make friends, or die trying. 

 

Or, maybe not. He'd be okay with just having Rey. Preferably as his wife.

 

This was going to be a very long month.


	2. Operation Save My Weapon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt finds out how everyone feels about Kylo Ren, and that escaping Rey is next to impossible. Also, beware the awkwardly-timed Force bond connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I don't own Star Wars or SNL. I just like to play with the ideas. 
> 
> Sorry for the long delay in this story! I finally got some inspiration in the form of art by Picarito. You can find Picarito on tumblr to see more great art! This is another prompt from the Reylo fic Recs group on Facebook. 
> 
> Sorry again for the wait! I hope you enjoy the update.

After settling in his room, Ben debated what to do next in order to retrieve his saber. Step 2 would become Operation Save My Weapon, and then Step 3 would be Operation Make New Friends. That step should be really easy since everyone seemed to be fine with him. 

 

Now that he had a room, he had a place to store his weapon. He could return to his ship, go into the fresher - no one would look for a weapon there - and hide his weapon in his clothing before hiding it in his room. 

 

Deciding to do it before dinner so he could watch Rey after the meal - he itched to train with her - someone knocked on his door. He opened it and found a shorter woman with small buns there, smiling widely. She seemed much more welcoming toward him compared to anyone else.

 

“Hi! I'm Kaydel Connix. I'm in intelligence, focusing on decrypting signals from the First Order. You must be Matt.”

 

She put out her hand, and he took it with too much enthusiasm, her hand bobbing up and down significantly. She was in intelligence! What luck! He could show them his personal line that way. Everything would go faster once they had that information. 

 

“Yup, I'm Matt. Great to meet you! Everyone has been so friendly. Not like those First Order people at all.”

 

She smiled before saying, “Yeah, we're the better side. You chose a good time to leave; we're going to bring them down soon. We've got plenty of places where you can work with the radars and whatnot, too.”

 

“Awesome. I want to help,” he said, their hands still shaking too much by Kaydel's estimation. “I also want to talk to you more about intelligence.”

 

Seizing an opportunity to stop the overly long shake, Kaydel pulled away and said, “Oh? Sure, let's walk and talk. Dinner is happening shortly.”

 

He stomped his foot out of consternation, startling her. Nothing had broken, though; Rey would be so proud. His mind went into overdrive to explain the odd behavior. 

 

“Sorry! I had porgs inside my clothing earlier. I'm still trying to get rid of all the remnants.”

 

“Let me give you a tip: you never will,” she said with a wry look. 

 

He glared at her slightly before reining in his temper and focusing on maintaining a more Matt-like temperament. 

 

“Oh well. It's cool, because I'm Matt! And things like porgs don't bother me at all! They're so small and cute.”

 

She gave him a strange look at his forced cheer, and he decided to stop trying so hard to be overly happy like Rey. He didn't understand how she did it all the time, especially given her terrible childhood. 

 

“So, which way is food around here?” he asked.

 

They began walking, and she gave him more details about the layout of the compound, adding on to what he had heard earlier. When they came to where he had seen Rey and Rose, he said, “Rose and Rey both seem really nice.”

 

“They're amazing people. You just need to get on their good side first,” replied Kaydel.

 

“What do you mean by that? I'm on their side; what more could they ask for?” he asked, getting defensive as his voice rose.

 

“Well, for starters, you did just appear out of nowhere from the First Order. How do we know you're not a spy?”

 

He wanted to scream and destroy something; why did they keep blowing holes in his plan? Why couldn't they just accept that he was there?

 

Kaydel gave him another funny look as he fisted his hands at his sides.

 

“Because I'm not a spy, obviously. I  _ hate _ the First Order. I've been near them too long; I want to destroy them, just like you.”

 

“Just because you say that doesn't mean anything. However, I do believe you. You just need to prove yourself.”

 

“That's why I wanted to talk to you. I want to work in intelligence; I saw and heard a lot while working,” he said, giving her a pleading look.

 

“Sure. We can always use more on the team. Come by tomorrow, and we'll see what you can do.”

 

He made a victorious fist pump and shouted, “Yes! Finally.”

 

His mood, however, switched rapidly as he wondered why she was trusting him. Kaydel felt emotional whiplash from seeing his mood change so rapidly from happy to angry to calm to  _ really  _ happy, and back to pissed off. 

 

“Why do you trust me?” he asked, eyeing her carefully. 

 

“Because Leia said we should,” she said simply. “I trust her implicitly.”

 

“She's old, and her family isn't exactly shining examples of light,” he said skeptically, starting to dig into her mind to see for sure. He wasn't about to let all his trouble and planning be for naught if Kaydel was actually a spy.

 

It became clear that she was loyal to Leia. She seemed to love Leia like a daughter, and that was enough for him. The issue was that he had stared too long.

 

“Did you hear what I just said?” she asked with some uncertainty and discomfort, after he stopped rummaging through her mind.

 

“Oh, um, no, sorry. I got distracted by… porgs.”

 

He was going to have to be careful; while they were convenient excuses, he feared they would appear if he said the name three times. He was lucky they hadn't left droppings last time.

 

“They're cute, aren't they? But anyway, I was saying that just because two family members are dark doesn't make the rest bad. We are never defined by our family or legacy; we have the choice to be different.”

 

He stared at her in open-mouthed awe. He had never heard someone explain the crux of his problem so succinctly. He wanted to thank her somehow, but had no idea how to.

 

“That's a great quote. I wish someone had told me that growing up,” he mumbled, eyes downcast.

 

“Oh! Anytime,” she said, giving him a hug. 

 

He stood there awkwardly stiff after she pulled back. She gave him another odd look before pointing toward the cafeteria. 

 

After they walked in awkward silence some ways, he realized that he had screwed up  _ again. _ He didn't apologize often, but he was quickly discovering that he might need to more in order to get on people's good sides since there was no reason to excuse the odd behavior. 

 

“So, Kaydel - that's your name, right?” he asked, worried he had gotten it wrong.

 

“Yeah, that's right. What is it?” she asked, turning to face him.

 

“Sorry about that back there. I'm not used to giving and receiving hugs. My parents were always distant-”

 

“It's fine. I get it,” she said with a soft smile. 

 

“Good. Does anyone else think I'm weird?” he asked with much concern.

 

She laughed until his face darkened a bit. “Yes, everyone thinks you're odd. Most also don't trust you.”

 

He didn't like being laughed it. The only thing that was worse was having everyone dislike and distrust him. Suddenly, his plan was going down in spiraling flames of horror.  

 

“Everyone, everyone? Or just Poe and what's his name?”

 

“What's his name?” she answered with amusement as he cursed himself again for not remembering Finn's name.

 

“How am I supposed to remember everyone the first day? He used to be a stormtrooper, some FN number for a name. Everyone in the First Order called him a traitor.”

 

“Oh, Finn!”

 

“Right, yes, Finn,” he said, trying to remember the name. “So everyone really thinks I'm awkward and odd?”

 

“Yes, because you are,” she said, “and that's alright! We'll get used to it. You just should be careful around Poe, Finn, Rose, and Rey. Especially Rey.”

 

“Why?” he demanded, worried about Rey.

 

“Because they don't trust the General like me.”

 

“Poe ought to, given his-”

 

“Given his what?” asked Kaydel curiously. 

 

Ben stuttered as he tried to think of an excuse for knowing what Rey had told him about Poe's insubordination right before Crait. That had always not sat well with him. 

 

“Given how close he works with her,” he got out after an extended pause.

 

He wasn't questioned further, but he felt as though he had shot himself in the foot. She was quiet the rest of the way there to the food, which thankfully wasn't very long.

 

He saw the others up in line for food, and his attention immediately ran to Rey. No one shined quite as brightly as her, her smile brilliant and manners warm and engaging. It still baffled him that more men didn't try to hit on Rey, at least until FN-what's-his-face (Fun? Fan? It was something close to that) poked her in the side.

 

That was when Rey's hand and reflexes appeared out of nowhere, her squeak of surprise spurring a loud grunt of pain from…. Fun as she slapped his hand away. That part made Ben smile at least. Fun deserved that for wanting to touch her.

 

“Finn, I'm so sorry! But what did I tell you about doing that?” she asked, still indignant while being conciliatory. 

 

“Sorry, Rey! But you have to get used to it somehow.”

 

“I will, eventually. Just try your newly-learned sneak attack on others….like the newbie over there,” she said, pointing to Ben.

 

“Matt? The weirdo?” asked Finn as Matt waved frantically at Rey.

 

“I think he just really likes Rey,” commented Poe. “Look at the way he lit up when Rey pointed at him.”

 

“He's not….exactly my type,” said Rey, remembering odd moments of Ben. “Similar, but I prefer dark hair.”

 

“I thought you didn't like my hair,” pouted Poe.

 

“I like it darker and even prettier,” she returned, making Finn laugh as Poe frowned.

 

“I don't think you have a type; I think you have one specific guy in mind.” said Poe. “I just don't know who; teasing you about Kylo Ren is fun at least.”

 

“In the meantime, we gotta watch Matt. Do you think he's a spy?”

 

“If so, he's the worst spy ever,” said Rey, waving back at Matt. “He's not fitting in at all.”

 

“Hey, if he spent a lot of time with the First Order, he'll be like that, just like I was,” said Finn. “Cut the guy some slack, even if he's a lot more awkward than anyone else.”

 

“He still reminds me of someone from my childhood,” pondered Poe, looking at Matt's face. “Not sure who.”

 

“It's okay. I get that same sense,” said Rey as she thought about Ben and wished he was beside her. 

 

As she grew more introspective, Ben became more animated. Her wandering thoughts combined with their bond made it hard not to feel her subconsciously reach out for him. She missed him! 

 

He rushed over to her, ignoring the food. “Hi, Rey. How are you?”

 

“Oh! I, uh, good. Just fine. And you?” she asked, trying to be polite. 

 

He beamed and give her two enthusiastic thumbs up. “Never better. Kaydel showed me how to get here. Apparently, she's in intelligence. I want to do that.”

 

“Why?” she asked, leaning in suspiciously. “I thought you were a pilot and radar tech.”

 

“Well, I like to expand my horizons. Also, I might have heard stuff while at the First Order that I could share with all of you, right? Don't you want to question me about it?” he asked, getting more excited. 

 

She opened her mouth to speak but found no words. He was right, and she hated to admit it. Thankfully, Poe saved her.

 

“You're right! And the good news is that Kylo Ren isn't here, so no one will torture you.”

 

“He  _ tortured _ people?” asked Matt, visibly upset. His eyes narrowed, and he balled his hands into fists, glaring at Poe.

 

“Yeah, he tortured me to get information! He used Jedi tricks like Rey, only worse! He entered my head! Just plucked the information out, like it was nothing. Then he did it to Rey. We're torture buddies,” he said, reaching out a fist to Rey.

 

Rey raised an eyebrow but didn't return with her own fist. Ben was a little relieved by it. Still, if that was how Poe saw him, he had a  _ long  _ ways to go to convince him he was a good guy now.

 

“Torture...buddies?” he repeated. “Right. I'm going to get some food. Anyone else need anything?” he asked, looking directly at Rey.

 

Poe just chuckled and made kissing lips with his fingers. Rey glared at him to stop him before Ben noticed.

 

“No, I think we're all good,” said Rey. “Just grab your food, and we'll save you a seat.”

 

“Great, thanks. I hope the porgs don't get to sit at the table; I can't handle those eyes while eating,” said Ben as he walked away.

 

“They’ll beg. Anyone want to find him one?” joked Finn with a laugh as Matt hurried to grab food. “He is definitely not a spy. We'll keep him away from poor Rey. Do you see the way he looks at her? Big eyes, can't help himself?”

 

“Yeah, it reminds me of a certain other guy I know when he's around Rose,” muttered Rey.

 

“But at least I've known her a little bit. He  _ just  _ met you. Totally different,” argued Finn.

 

They stopped the discussion when Matt came back. He took the only spot available, between Kaydel and Finn, and across from Poe. He looked put out since Rey was so far from him. He had barely sat down when the mother porg of earlier came scurrying to his feet, big, sad eyes begging him for food.

 

“Hmph. I knew I shouldn't have said their name a third time. How do I make them go away?” he asked the table.

 

“You have to give them some of your veggies. Otherwise they'll never leave you alone,” said Poe half-seriously. 

 

Ben glared at Poe before noticing that everyone agreed with him. Sighing, he scooped a glob of the green stuff up and was about to hand-feed the porg when he saw Poe's shoes not far away. Poe already didn't like or trust him, right?

 

He pretended to bump his head on the bottom of of the table as he bent down, and then the green mush splattered all over Poe's shoes.

 

“Whoa!”

 

“Sorry, Poe!” he cried as the porg began sniffing the green stuff and licking Poe's shoes. “At least they'll help clean up my mess.”

 

Poe didn't last long as t the table before he got up to grab something better for wiping up. Ben returned to his food and other companions. 

 

Kaydel was polite, but Ben focused his attention on Fun (somewhere between looking at the familiar outfit Rey had worn on the  _ Supremacy _ and trying to find appetizing food, he had forgotten the traitor's name yet again). Fun started talking to Poe when he got back. They were talking about what they were fixing up when Matt tried to get involved in the conversation. 

 

“These ships are way better than the rust buckets we had on Crait,” said Poe.

 

“Yeah! I think these could actually escape the First Order,” said Finn, finishing his meal with relish. 

 

“I'm still amazed that old pile of junk managed to escape all those troops like it did at Crait,” said Ben. “It's so old and decrepit.”

 

“Well, it did make the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs-”

 

“Twelve,” interrupted Ben, shocking Rey. “At least get the facts about it straight.”

 

“How did you know that?” she asked, giving him a hard look.

 

He felt his cheeks warm, but he kept his gaze on her, hoping he didn't appear nervous.

 

“I, uh, thought it was common knowledge. Its main owner was pretty famous.”

 

“He's right,” said Poe. “I knew that. Han Solo was amazing!”

 

“It was a shame he had to die at the hands of Kylo Ren,” agreed Finn, looking down at his empty plate.

 

“So you hate him for doing that?” asked Ben, hoping that it had abated with time since the two had barely known each other.

 

“For that, yes, but mostly for the way he sliced me up at Starkiller Base. He's crazy, a maniac! He took a huge hit and still beat the crap out of me. Great fighter, but I hate him for that, and what he did to Poe and Rey.”

 

“Right,” he said, growing more depressed and worried. “The torture buddies.”

 

“We all hate him… except maybe Rey,” said Finn.

 

“She's got a type, if you know what I mean,” said Poe with a wink, pointing a thumb at Rey. 

 

Rey rolled her eyes and went back to devouring all her food.

 

Ben's attention strayed to her out of habit. He loved watching her eat; it was rare he saw her do so. However, whenever she did, she enjoyed every meal as if it were her last, a learned habit from Jakku.

 

“How do you do it?” he asked, not realizing he was speaking out loud. “How do you enjoy this food?”

 

All stopped speaking to look at him. Rey looked up slowly, feeling his eyes on her, even as she noticed Poe grin knowingly. She wanted to throat punch him; Ben was rubbing off on her in odd ways.

 

He saw her wistful look and wondered why. “Rey?”

 

Rey's body and ears perked up at the concerned tone of Matt. It reminded her so strongly of her Ben that she almost thought she was looking at Ben, as soft as Matt's eyes were as he gazed at her. She felt the world narrow until it was only the two of them, his eyes seeming to stare into her soul, seeking something desperately. For some odd reason, she wanted him to find it, even as an air of familiarity grew between them. It was easier to like Matt when he acted like this, and that was bad. She couldn't trust him yet.

 

“What?” she asked, blinking and breaking the spell between them.

 

“Do you really like this food? It's awful,” he said. “You seem to love it.”

 

“It could be my last meal. You would do well to remember that. Nothing is guaranteed,” she replied. 

 

He grumbled as Finn added, “This is way better than the mush the First Order had. You can distinguish food in this. You spoiled by good food somewhere? Sneak into the officers’ mess?”

 

“Their food is slightly worse than this,” said Ben, wanting to stick up his nose at the food until he realized that he wasn't going to get special meals anymore. He had given up being Supreme Leader, and he was going to have to get used to it. Plus, everyone seemed to be judging him hardcore for snubbing the food.

 

Finn chuckled. “You must've snuck into the kitchens, then. Can't get good food any other way. You'll learn to like it, no worries.”

 

“I'm sure I will. Everything will be better with a new day, right?” he said, suddenly overly cheerful again.

 

Poe gave him an odd look as Kaydel nodded, as if to remind Poe this was what she had seen earlier. Matt had some mercurial moods. 

 

“Yes,” said Rey. “So, what are you doing after dinner? It's free time for all of us.”

 

Ben had already decided to use Finn's idea and go to the kitchen. He'd use a Jedi mind trick in order to get better food, and maybe find a pomegranate for Rey. She loved that fruit. 

 

“Is there any way to get some exercise around here? I'm trying to stay in shape. One day, when I see Kylo Ren again, I want to be able to defeat him in a fight.”

 

Poe and Finn gave him looks asking if he was crazy. He just muddled on through it, hoping to get a reaction out of Rey. She liked seeing him shirtless, based on their more recent Force Bond conversations, and he was curious if anyone knew about their bond. 

 

“A while back, a buddy of mine saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off in the bathroom, and he said that Kylo Ren had an eight-pack. I want to be ready to destroy him if he is that shredded,” he said.

 

Sure enough, Rey's face turned pink. Luckily for her, no one noticed as Poe was having none of it. 

 

“What? That's ludicrous. Your buddy is a liar. He’s probably thirty pounds soaking wet under that ridiculous little black dress and cape he likes to strut around in. Have you seen how thin he is?”

 

As Poe laughed, Ben stared at him, anger rising quickly to the surface. Just as he began to Force-choke Poe, Rey interrupted, stopping him and turning his mood around immediately. 

 

“No, I'm pretty sure he's got some muscle, Poe. He's pretty beefy, as far as guys go.” When all gave her odd looks, save a happy Matt, she tried to defend herself. “Have you seen the way he fights? I've held his lightsaber before; it's heavy. No weak guy could hold and swing it like he does. He knows how to use his weapon.”

 

“I'm sure you'd like to see how he handles other weapons, too,” insinuated Poe, earning a plate full of food in his face from Rey as all laughed.

 

She got up from the table, done with Poe and all the talk of Ben. “I'm done. I'll be back after I train.”

 

“Hey, take Matt with you!” said Poe, content to earn more ire from Rey at this point. “Help the new guy out. We all know you train for a similar reason; you could take Kylo Ren on together.”

 

“Unless Matt is Force-sensitive, good luck. No offense, Matt,” she said, glancing back at him.

 

“None taken,” he said, still in awe at what Poe had suggested. “But can I train with you anyway? Please?”

 

Rey stopped moving again, surprised by his plea. Taking compassion on the poor guy, she decided she would hint to him that she was taken and be done with it. He'd never train with her or look at her again, if she was lucky.

 

“Alright. I'll be back shortly with weapons. We'll train after that.”

 

All got up as Ben's mind stuttered. Kriff! He needed to grab his weapon. Did he have time to grab food and his weapon? Probably, given the size of the compound. The women were quartered further away than the men.

 

He fled the group and found the kitchen; it was easy to trick the cooks into giving him something palatable besides forcing them to find pomegranates for Rey. After that, he made a beeline for the exit. He was opening the door to go to the surface when Rey came down the hall and noticed him. Suspicion filled her again, and she decided to follow him quietly.

 

He was almost to the ship when he felt eyes upon him, watching. He stopped and turned, seeing no one. He went a little further, still sensing it. Finally, he stopped and drew from the Force around him, and he realized Rey was there. 

 

“Anyone there? I could use a hand,” he said as he turned and waved his hands in a helpless gesture. 

 

“I am,” she said, stepping out from behind a tree and stalking toward him until she was in his face. “What are you doing out here? Looking for something? Meeting someone?”

 

She was dangerously beautiful when she was angry and protective like this. Who she was protecting was hard to say, but he felt a thrill rush through him at her fearless manner. He wanted to kiss her.

 

The unbidden thought and long-standing dream that taunted him made his ears turn red.

 

“I'm looking for something, a shirt for training. I left it on the ship earlier and wanted to grab it before we fought. This outfit is bad for working out.”

 

She gave him a questioning look but shrugged. “Fine. Let's get this. What do I have to do to help?”

 

He murmured silently about making better thought-out plans before he made something up, not expecting her to help him. “I hid the shuttle; could you watch for others so they don't find it or try to do something to it since he's hated so much? It's a nice ship.”

 

“Yes, but only if I can go onboard with you,” she said, intensely curious to see the ship that Ben loved so much. It still baffled her that he wasn't contacting her through the bond, choking someone for taking it. “I've heard so much about it; I want to see it.”

 

“Sure!” he said, a grin overtaking his face. “Let's go.”

 

Soon after, they found the ship, and he got it open for them. As they walked up the ramp, he enjoyed seeing Rey's shaky intake of breath. He could sense a tumult of emotions within her through the bond as the door closed, many involving him.  

 

Rey was nervous and curious, but she felt a sense of calm when next to him. Somehow, he seemed at home in the ship as he beckoned her toward the captain's chair.

 

“You'll have the best view for lookout from here. If you want, you can sit in the seat and try it out. I'm sure he won't mind if you do.”

 

“Why would you suggest that?” she asked defensively, even as everything within her yearned to touch something of his, to try to connect with him again. 

 

“Based on what you and Poe say, you seem to know him better than most. You seem interested in him, or at least curious. Don't be afraid to admit it,” he added when she seemed ready to protest, taking her right hand. “I feel it, too.”

 

Her puzzled look and blush alerted him that he really needed to be more careful about his wording. He looked down at their joined hands and wished he could do more with her. There would be none of that until she figured out who he was, though.

 

“He's an interesting guy, however much I may hate him. So yeah, go ahead and sit. I'm going back here to grab my shirt.”

 

She nodded mutely, her eyes and mind far away, on a planet that no longer existed. As he left, she shook herself out of the interrogation room and wondered where Ben had brought her onboard when he had abducted her on Takodana. She made a mental note to ask, and then she ran her fingers along the top of the leather seats. It was cool and smooth, the black familiar. As she sat down, she took hold of the navigation system, wanting to feel it in her hands.

 

As soon as she touched the things that held so much of him, she felt all sound vanish, her world narrowing as she recognized the first hints of a Force connection beginning. She had never been happier.

 

For his part, Ben had undone his coveralls and put on the shirt that he had left on the bed. He was in the fresher, grabbing his saber when he felt the beginning of a connection with Rey. He panicked and stripped off his shirt and coveralls at once, hoping that he could distract her with abs. He also decided he couldn't let her into the fresher, lest she recognize his surroundings. 

 

“Ben, what have I told you about standing around and waiting for me without a shirt on?” she teased. “Only once a week. You'll catch a cold that way.”

 

He grinned, glad that her eyes were still glued to his face. He could tell that she was sitting, and he understood why they connected at once. He had brought her there briefly while she was unconscious.

 

“You'll have to forgive me. I missed you,” he said honestly as he got down on his knees,  hoping she didn't notice the coveralls.

 

It hadn't even been that long in the grand scheme of things, but not being able to talk to her like he wanted while being  _ that close  _ to her frustrated him. 

 

“I miss you, too. So much,” she replied, turning the seat and reaching for him with needy, shaky hands.

 

He reached for her at once, their hands touching before there was a mad scramble to intertwine their fingers. Both let out a sigh of relief when it was done, their eyes lost in the other's. 

 

“Today's been so hard, Ben. I keep seeing you everywhere. There's a new guy who looks like you. I want you here instead. I think he's interested in me, buried underneath all that awkwardness of his.”

 

“You know why I can't,” he said, cringing at hearing her call him awkward. Some things about him never changed, it seemed.

 

She glared at him since he had no pity for her. “I do. So, what are you flying these days?”

 

His face went red. How did he explain that?

 

“What I always do. Why?” he asked, deciding to play dumb.

 

“Because I'm sitting in your seat as we speak. Can you see my surroundings? You have in the past.”

 

He tried to, and he could as he focused more. It felt so right to have her there, taking care of and running his ship.

 

“How? When? Why?” he demanded, his grip tightening.

 

Rey felt the change in him as he saw everything around her. Her smile was a little too smug, but she didn't care.

 

“Today. That new guy I mentioned said he had a run-in with you and stole your ship to come to the Resistance. I was going to keep a close eye on him; I don't trust him.”

 

“Do it,” he said, however much he wanted to tell her not to. It wouldn't fit with him, though. “See if you can find out anything. I'll make do without it and whatever is in my ship. Take care of it for me.”

 

“I will,” she promised, another hand coming out to comfort him before sliding further up his arm and touching his chest. “Ben, why did the Force connect us when I sat down?”

 

Both felt it as the connection started to fade. They had learned to dread it.

 

“Next time I'll explain. I promise.”

 

A few moments later, both were alone again in the ship. Ben hurriedly dressed and hid his saber as he went to find Rey. 

 

“Ready? Let's go train,” he said, realizing too late that she hadn't left her spot in his seat, mind still far away.

 

“Oh! Yes, I am. Let's go,” she said. As they closed the ship, she asked, “Are you alright if I come back to the ship every once in a while? Just to check on it?”

 

“Sure. You're obviously attached to it.”

 

“Thanks,” she said, touching his shoulder briefly.

 

He tried to not to smile too much as she did so. He was feeling pretty good about himself until Rey spoke again.

 

“Matt, what's in your pants?”

 

Rey was resisting pulling a Poe and telling him not to get so excited about her touching him. 

 

“What are you - oh,” he said, looking at the cross-guard of his saber sticking out near his crotch area. “I can explain!”

 

She tilted her head and gave him a skeptical look.

 

“While I was changing, I found this thing in the fresher. It was kind of heavy and looked like a good thing to train with,” he said, unzipping the coveralls to pull out the saber from his pants. “Do you know what this is?”

 

Rey's eyes widened in shock.

 

“How did you, I, may I?”

 

He had been preparing himself for her to get angry, to yell or something like that, especially since he had felt her anger. However, those feelings were tamped as new purpose and resolution filled her, and she stared at his weapon with awe.

 

He barely moved it toward her before she snatched it out of his hands and ignited it, swinging it around in a wide sweeping motion similar to him. Then, she deactivated it and pressed it to her chest. 

 

“I'm going to hold on to this. Thank you for finding this. Let's go back.”

 

As he followed her, he knew then he had issues. He ought to be afraid that his story was having further holes poked in it, but instead, all he felt was intense attraction. 

 

She really did handle his saber well. He couldn't wait to train with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Operation Join the Secret Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey train together, and afterward Ben tries to join the intelligence team. Beware the porgs and Force Ghosts!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars or SNL. I'm just here for family feels and fluff. And lots of Reylo and Reydar. Also porg shenanigans. Some of the things the porgs do are inspired by stories told to me of dogs. Thank you to Crysania and biekewieke for the inspiration! 
> 
> Also the winter image is inspired by an art prompt for the Drabble Me This prompts on the Reylo fic Recs group on Facebook. This art is done by koni-art on deviantart. Check it out!
> 
> I hope you enjoy the silliness!

Ben wasn't sure what he had been expecting when he asked to train with Rey. He had never done it before with her, and he was used to doing it a certain way by himself. The other thing that ran through his mind as they walked silently back to the training area was how to convince her that he should use his saber while training. It wasn't like he could use a Jedi mind trick on her.

 

He continued puzzling until Rey sensed that he was bothered by something. She wasn't sure  _ why  _ she could sense it, but she assumed it had to do with the Force. 

 

“Matt, what are you worried about? You're not afraid of me, are you?” she asked, stopping to look at him just outside the room.

 

“Um….no. No I'm not,” he stuttered, growing more nervous that she sensed his feelings. He shuffled his black shoes and stared at the durasteel floor with intensity, trying to find a good answer. Finally, he jerked his head up and said, “I'm afraid that I'm super awkward and no one likes me.”

 

It  _ was _ true. He hated lying to Rey, and he was hoping to get more sympathy from her, despite her desire to watch and not trust him. 

 

His words worked like a charm. Rey was at a loss for words until she remembered something from the meal, wincing as she spoke. “That's not true! Kaydel likes you.”

 

“But you don't,” he said, giving her some of the most expressive, sad eyes she had seen.

 

Rey had seen many emotions from Ben. Sadness and disappointment was one of them, and she recognized that at once, feeling bad. She didn't understand how he could be a spy when he showed every emotion possible, but his story was too weird to be coincidental. Something was off about him, and his sad look reminded her yet again of Ben. Why was that?

 

“I'm sorry, Matt,” she said, reaching out a caring hand to his shoulder. “I want to like you, honest.”

 

“But?” he asked, voice cracking.

 

“I barely know you. You just appeared out of nowhere; I can't trust you yet. It'll come with time, though. I promise,” she said, smiling warmly at him.

 

“I hope so. I really like you,” he said, wincing at admitting it so fast. He regretted it for only a moment, though.

 

“Thanks. I hope we can be good friends one day,” she said, giving him her best “let's be friends” smile usually reserved for Poe. “However, it can never be more than that.”

 

“Why not?” he asked, immediately upset and trying to reign it in as he realized he shouldn't take it personally. 

 

She gave him a look, and he unclenched his hands, trying to appear approachable and nice. 

 

“Because I'm already seeing someone. We're involved-”

 

“Do you love him?” he blurted out, unable to hold in the burning question as he took her hands, eyes begging her to answer honestly. 

 

She blushed and smiled as she thought of Ben before focusing on Matt. “Yes, I love him very much.”

 

He wanted to jump. Kiss her. Dance for joy. Pet porgs. Anything, as long as he could show just how glad he was to know the truth. He hugged her, his death grip around her waist proving that he didn't need the Force to choke someone. 

 

She gasped before wheezing out, “Matt?”

 

“Oh, sorry!” he cried, realizing what he had done. He had forgotten how good it felt to touch her, and that he tended to get carried away. He tried to school his features before saying encouragingly, “Love is the best thing ever in the entire galaxy. If you love him, then you go for it.”

 

He gave her two thumbs up, and she didn't know how to take this new reaction of his. One moment he seemed jealous, and the next he was  _ excited  _ to enter the friend zone. 

 

Weirdest. Guy. Ever.

 

“Thank you? So you're okay being in the friend zone, just being friends?” she asked hesitantly, not quite believing him. 

 

“You betcha. I am here 100% to be your confidante and friend to help support you. You will never meet  _ anyone _ who is more ready to support you and help you,” he said, getting psyched about the possibilities this opened up for him. “I'm a guy. If you have questions to help better your love life, to understand him, you just ask away.” Pointing his thumbs at his chest, he said enthusiastically, “I'm your man!”

 

Rey appreciated his eagerness to help, but she wondered why. However, if it helped her stay close to him and maybe got a little more insight into how Ben thought, it couldn't hurt. She was too afraid to ask Finn or Poe, lest she have to explain that she was involved with someone. 

 

“Thank you. Your enthusiasm is overwhelming,” she replied, opening the door and getting them inside the training room before closing the door. “Just, whatever you do, please don't talk about my love life in front of others, okay? They like to tease, and I don't think they're ready to know.”

 

“Then why are you telling me?” he asked, excited that she trusted him enough to tell him before anyone else.

 

“Because you were acting like you wanted to date me, and I don't want to break your heart,” she said matter-of-factly, making him groan internally at the fact that he had no ability to hide his feelings around her. 

 

Still, he remained positive. She loved him! “Well, I was interested, but I'm an easy-going guy. If you love him, that's what matters,” he said, grinning. 

 

Rey saw Ben smile once in a while, but never as big as Matt did just then. His smile was truly genuine; that she could tell. She wished she could see Ben smile like that. When he continued to stare at her way longer than he should've, she wondered yet again if he truly meant it. Why did he stare at her so much? He was almost worse than Ben, and he was pretty bad. 

 

Clearing her throat, she pointed at the area around her. “So, you want to train?”

 

“Yes! So pumped,” he said, turning to take in the room. 

 

It was smaller than he was used to, and had a lot less padding. He would have to hold back more, for both their sakes. The selection of weapons to practice with wasn't as bad as he feared it would be, but he still itched to use his own weapon. 

 

“So, how do you start off your training?” he asked, trying to appear casual.

 

He failed miserably. She looked intently at him, trying to see why he cared so much.

 

“I meditate then stretch. Why?” she asked. “What do you do?”

 

“I stretch, but I'm all for meditating. It's good for the soul, for finding your inner balance and all that hokey stuff,” he said, remembering what his father used to say when he teased Luke growing up.

 

Rey huffed and rolled her eyes before saying, “I thought you of all people, someone who has seen Kylo Ren, would believe in the Force.”

 

“Oh, right,” he said, grimacing at his mistake. “I do. But you Jedi do say a lot of crazy things. You really think no emotion is going to help you fight?”

 

Rey did a double-take at his seeming one-eighty in how he described the Force. 

 

“You talk like you know something about the Force, like you've studied it,” she said, eyeing him as she spoke slowly. “You almost sound like a Sith.”

 

“Well, you know, that's just me,” he said, rolling with it and deciding to own the studying part. If it convinced her to let him use his lightsaber, then he'd do it. “I'm just super into learning whatever makes Kylo Ren what he is. How else can I be ready for him except by learning about the Force and all the Sith and Jedi lore?”

 

“You...make a fair point,” she said, ready to go with it. “I just didn't know all that knowledge was available elsewhere. I thought I had the original Jedi texts, the only ones to exist.”

 

“So  _ you're _ the one who went to Ahch-To and found those big-eyed creatures?” he asked, immediately curious and getting close to her. “When did you go?”

 

“Before the Battle of Crait. I was learning from Master Skywalker before he passed away into the Force,” she said, growing sad for a moment.

 

Ben had felt that, too. When he had tried to cut Luke in half the first time, he thought he would feel really good afterward. He hadn't. He was supposed to be happier, feeling more justice for finally killing the man who had tried to kill him. He thought it might help him complete his training and bring him peace. 

 

He had been horribly wrong. 

 

When he saw it didn't work the first time, he tried again, angry that it hadn't worked as it should. Perhaps it was because Luke wasn't dead. But no, that wasn't it, either. It wasn't until he saw the projection fade away that he lost it, but as soon as Rey closed the bond on him, he realized just how much he had lost. 

 

He lost Rey, and soon after he felt the loss of Luke. It was as though all those present in the Force were leaving him. He felt all that loss acutely, and he knew then and there that he would  _ never  _ be able to fulfill his training. 

 

Killing his master should have been his first sign, but he had been ready to go back to it after Rey left him for a brief time, doubling down on what he had been led to believe in for so long. But that weakness...that compassion from his father, his need to find connection and unwillingness to let go, it showed him how unfit he was for it. When Luke finally passed, he felt sorrow at losing his uncle. He wasn't at peace, and he regretted that it had ended like that. 

 

“I'm sorry you lost your Master. You deserved better than to lose him through Force projection, all because of Kylo Ren,” he said hugging her again but with more gentleness. 

 

“How did you know what he did? Even  _ I  _ don't,” she said in awe. “All I know is he sacrificed himself to save all of us. He said he wouldn't, but he did in the end. I'm so grateful, but I do miss him.”

 

He felt her sadness through the bond, and he squeezed her just a little tighter, feeling relieved that he could finally talk about Luke with someone who understood. It gave him the closure he needed. 

 

“Anyone worth anything misses him. He was a good man who made mistakes, just like we all do,” he said, forgiving his uncle at last, knowing how much he sought forgiveness. “He was also your teacher. It's a special bond you never lose and always miss when it's gone.”

 

She hugged him back, glad to have him in that moment. “How do you know all this, understand me so well? It's almost scary how well you get me,” she mused, still hugging him tightly as she hugged out her feelings of loss. “He was like a father to me.... I miss him. I'm just so glad to have Leia still.”

 

“But what about...the guy you love?” he asked, a little indignant.

 

“Some topics are more problematic than others. I'm trying not to force him to discuss feelings about certain things until he's ready,” she said. “Like this. But yeah, I'll always have him. He understands me best.”

 

She couldn't fathom why his hands rubbed up and down her back in that consoling manner that Ben liked to do, but she accepted it all the same.

 

“Love is good like that. I used to think it was a weakness, but then I discovered it wasn't. I was never more happy to be proven wrong, that it can be a strength if done right,” he said, speaking from the heart.

 

She reeled back from him, trying to understand this man that kept making her question everything. He was so confusing and awkward, and yet he related to and understood her as few did. He had so many common interests with her that it felt too good to be true.

 

“You're right,” she said, diving right in with the question that came to mind. “Did you lose someone close to you to cause that? Family?”

 

“Yes and no,” he said, turning awkward again as he talked about himself. 

 

Internally, she laughed at how self-conscious he was. The similarities to Ben just kept on growing, even if she knew it wasn't him since he was far away and stuck somewhere. 

 

“What do you mean?” she prodded, sitting to stretch. 

 

“It's partly family and also a woman,” he said, hoping that was enough. 

 

It was. She nodded in understanding, and then they took to meditation and stretching. She was shocked to see how well he meditated, how straight he kept his back, not to mention how  _ big  _ he was. Usually she only felt small like that around Ben, who never seemed to know what to do with all his bulk. Matt was into this, though, and he was eager to train.

 

When she pulled out and turned on her repaired lightsaber, he asked timidly, “Could I use that saber I found earlier? I've always wanted to hold and use a lightsaber.”

 

She was about to say no until she remembered Finn. He had been decent with it despite never using it before at Starkiller Base, and he still liked to practice with hers now and then for fun. Why not? It could be fun to train someone else, especially someone who had some understanding already of the Force. If she was ever asked to train others, why not start with someone like him?

 

“When you studied the Force, did you read about combat techniques? For that matter, how did you access the information?” she asked, giving him a questioning look. 

 

“Yes. The First Order has all the archives of the Empire; I just searched until I found what I needed,” he said, making up something plausible. “Watching Kylo Ren fight was the coolest thing ever! I want to be as good as him.”

 

“That'll take many years of rigorous training to do that, but we can start small here,” she said, deciding to trust him a little like Leia and Kaydel did. “Just remember to listen to me and do  _ exactly  _ as I say.  I’m not taking any funny business here.”

 

“I’ll listen.  I promise,” he said eagerly.  “I’m a great student, though I can be a pretty good teacher, too.”

 

Not wanting to think about her needing a teacher and wanting a certain someone far away, she threw Matt the saber, and he caught it easily. She was amazed at how easily it fit in his hands but let it pass, focusing on showing him how to grip and use it. For the next two standard hours, she showed him the basics of movement she had learned from her books until he proved he was a fast learner. After that, they ended for the evening. She was sweating profusely, and he seemed to barely break a sweat.

 

“How do you do it?” she asked as they both sat and rested.  

 

“The First Order has very vigorous work requirements for radar technicians and everyone alike,” he said, as though it were completely normal to be in perfect shape and have a nice chest under the tight shirt he wore.  “Isn’t that other guy like that, too?”

 

“You mean Finn?” she asked, making him light up and point his finger in the air. 

 

“Yeah, him.  I’m terrible at remembering his name, and I feel bad,” he said, grimacing. “I remember yours at least.  You’re very pretty.”

 

She blushed, making him apologize.  Soon after, he asked hopefully, “Thanks so much for all your willingness to teach me all this.  Can we do this tomorrow?”

 

“I guess so.  Why not?” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

 

She was rewarded with another big smile, making her not regret the decision.  It obviously brought him great joy, and he was actually pretty good with a lightsaber.  

 

“Oh, I almost forgot.  This is for you,” he said, making a pomegranate appear from his overalls and handing it to her. “I found it earlier and thought you might like it.”

 

“You….just found it?” she asked, completely doubting him but taking it anyway.   _ No one  _ knew she liked pomegranates... except for Ben.  It was yet another reason to give Matt another chance.  He proved to be thoughtful and understanding, qualities she prized.  She told Rose everything about the encounter after she left him.

 

As Ben made his way to his quarters, he ran into a family of porgs.  The mother porg sat herself in front of him and gave him big, pleading eyes until he finally bent down.

 

Touching her head, he asked, slightly annoyed, “What do you want? Stop looking at me like that! I can’t handle your cuteness and sad eyes.”

 

They were too pure and innocent, just like Rey.  The baby porgs immediately crawled up his pant legs before the mother squawked and crawled into his outstretched hand, surprising him.

 

“I guess…. I’m taking you back with me,” he said, not worrying about it.  “I’m just glad someone truly likes me.”

 

He slept well that night after such a stressful day full of questions and working out.  When he awoke, he felt refreshed and ready to find the intelligence group so that he could join it.  His next step in his plan changed yet again to Operation Join the Secret Team as he decided on what to wear.  The porgs had taken to nesting in his overalls for some odd reason, one small porg even using his wig as a home.  It was the cutest thing ever….until it wasn’t.

 

He had opened the door half-dressed, wearing his night shirt and long pants and no other part of his disguise.  He had intended to see if anyone was awake at that ungodly hour to try to use the shower before anyone else arrived.  The problem was that the porgs seemed to want to use the bathroom, too, as they darted out of his room…. With his wig and a pair of underwear!

 

Beyond embarrassed, he dashed after them, calling out to them to stop.

 

“Hey! You! Get back here!” he hissed.  “I need those! No, don’t go that way-gah!”

 

They turned a corner and led him on a merry chase.  Now he understood why Rey and Rose had been chasing them so much.  

 

“I am  _ never  _ going to let you into my room  _ ever again _ !” he threatened, to not avail. 

 

The only thing he really did was wake people up and make Leia laugh as she recalled saying such things to Han. Soon enough, he would be eating his words, just like she did time and again. 

 

For some time, he was sure he woke up half the compound as he yelled assorted curses at the infuriating birds, threatening to never pet them even, but all to no avail.  It wasn’t until he heard someone coming from the corner the porgs were headed toward that he gave up on not using the Force. He couldn’t afford to blow his cover so early, so he used the Force to make the porg carrying his wig land in his hands. He immediately popped it back on, albeit with more fur sticking in it.

 

“Got you, you little troublemaker-”

 

“You looking for something?” asked a female voice.

 

For a moment, Ben froze. His underwear…..

 

He blushed and hoped it wasn’t Rey.  The voice didn't sound like Rey, so he peeked up from behind the hands covering his deep blush. It was Rose, who was trying not to laugh.  He blushed even more.

 

“I'm sorry,” he said, coming toward Rose.  “I don’t have my glasses on, so I couldn’t see anything! I thought this little guy in my hands had my underwear. I am so deeply sorry if I woke you up…. Could I have my underwear back now?” he asked in a rush.

 

Rose finally laughed as she handed the black briefs to him. 

 

“It’s fine.  We’ve all lost items of clothing to these little guys before.  Just nothing as….personal as this,” she said, still chuckling. “Welcome to the Resistance.”

 

“Thanks,” he snarled, snatching the briefs and stomping away from the scene of humiliation.  

 

As he dressed, he reflected that he really needed to get his temper better under control. That, and find the socks that had been on the floor the night before and had now disappeared. He hoped that porgs didn't like to steal and hide clothing, too.  

 

He wasn’t used to being so close and around so many people at once in this way.  Their sense of boundaries was very different, and Rose had been very nice to get the underwear for him, he reflected.  He resolved to make it up to her by finding one of his scrolls of paper and writing her a quick note before breakfast. When he was done, he finished getting ready for the day.

 

“Kriff! That's cold!” he yelled as he stepped on something smooth and tiny at the bottom of his shoe. When he looked inside, he was baffled to find a nut sitting on the sole of his shoe. “How did that get here? Wait….porgs, you have fooled me for the last time!” he cried, remembering seeing them inside his shoes at one point. After that, he finally headed down to get food.  

 

On his way, he ran into Rose once more, who looked suspicious of him.  She was about to pass by without acknowledging him when he called out her name and waved awkwardly. 

 

Taking several hulking steps toward her, he waved his hands before sticking them in his pockets, not sure what to do with them. “Rose! Hey! So, about this morning...this is for you,” he said, pushing the scroll in her hands and hurriedly rushing off in the opposite direction of the mess hall.

 

Rose stared at him with wide eyes of confusion, trying to wrap her head around what she had just seen, as well as heard from Rey.  Apparently, he was a very complicated, feeling person underneath all the awkwardness and moodiness. When she read his note apologizing for his awkward, embarrassed behavior and thanking her again, she tucked the small note into her pockets and joined everyone for breakfast.

 

“Rose! Over here,” called Finn, smiling despite a lack of caf.  

 

No one really understood how he managed to survive and be a morning person despite never drinking the wonder brew, but Rose appreciated it.  She could always count on a smile from him when everyone else was still sleepy and waking up.

 

“Rose, what’s going on? You look confused,” said Rey, looking her over.

 

“It’s that Matt guy….oh do I have a story to tell you, after Rey of course.  She had  _ many  _ adventures with him,” said Rose, giving Rey a teasing look.

 

“I’ve already told them while we were waiting for you.  What happened with Matt? What weird thing did he do now?” asked Rey.

 

“You’ll never believe it, but a porg managed to steal his underwear! Apparently, he wears black briefs, and he woke me, as well as most of you probably, this morning because he was chasing one to get the briefs back.”

 

“He was just running down the hall without a thought for anyone.  It was so frustrating,” said Poe. “Oh well, everyone gets inducted at some point. What happened next with him?”

 

“Well, I captured the runaway briefs and gave them back to him.  I probably laughed more than I should have, as he immediately took them away.  It was super harsh, no real thanks or anything. But then, as I’m coming here, I run into him again! Lo and behold, he went and wrote me a note! A handwritten note! Who even does that anymore?” she asked, truly surprised.  

 

“Not many,” said Finn.  “I thought that was a lost art.”

 

“Not for this guy.  He has super nice handwriting, too.  He thanked me and apologized again. It was actually kind of sweet.”

 

“He’s just really self-conscious I think,” added Rey.  “I don’t know what to do with him.”

 

“You’ll have to figure it out fast, as he’s heading this way now,” said Poe, his voice growing insinuating.  “He’s looking at you again, Rey.”

 

She smacked Poe as he made kissing noises, at least until her eyes met Matt’s.  He was just so  _ happy  _ to see her, and she couldn’t figure out why.  She loved it all the same. She wanted Ben to look at her like that every day.  He could stare and wave awkwardly all he wanted if he would just smile and be that happy to see her all the time.

 

As a result, she smiled back at Matt and made space for him, ignoring Poe.  Matt was good about not staring as much that meal, and everyone quizzed him about what he thought of Rey as a teacher.  After much stumbling and blushing, he was able to give coherent answers.

 

Eventually, Poe brought up the topic he had been hoping to avoid.  However, given his latest stunt with the food on Poe’s shoes, he really should’ve seen it coming.

 

“So, Matt, who’s more fond of black briefs: you or the porgs?” 

 

“I’m, uh, I’m not entirely sure I’m qualified to give that answer since I barely know these porgs.  I mean, we’ve only just met less than a day ago. We’re not that serious yet, unless them sleeping in my clothes counts,” he said, rambling nervously.

 

“Oh, it definitely counts,” said Poe, smirking.

 

“Oh yeah! That makes you their new special friend! They’re going to follow you all the time now to make sure they can keep sleeping there, at least until you kick them out,” said Finn, patting his back.

 

“I’m  _ never _ allowing them in my room again.  I am  _ not  _ chasing after them like that ever again,” insisted Ben, growing indignant. 

 

“You only woke up everyone in the entire Resistance,” said Poe, elbowing him.  “Don’t worry, you can redeem yourself.”

 

“I hope so,” replied Ben, looking slightly sad about not being accepted eventually. 

 

“Hey, cheer up!” said Rose, patting his hand.  “We’ve all had it happen. At least they didn’t leave egg shells and furballs in your clothes like they did Poe-”

 

“That was only once!” insisted Poe.

 

“-or sleep on your face like they did with Finn,” she finished, smiling at the man in question.

 

Finn just looked down and nodded.  “I couldn’t breathe.”

 

“They’re secretly trying to kill us,” whispered Kaydel, grinning conspiratorially.

 

“But don’t think they won’t come back in.  Eventually, they always do,” insisted Rey. “We all make the same decision, and yet, time and after time, we give in to those soulful, sad eyes.”

 

“No bird has any right to look so sad and cute at the same time,” grumbled Ben, making everyone laugh.

 

Soon after that, everyone spread out to go do their normal jobs.  Ben went and grabbed more decent food afterward - the breakfast wasn’t any better - before he realized that he had no idea where the intelligence group was located.  With that, he tried to remember the tour he had been given, but after getting lost twice, he gave up on that and just learned the areas he was in. After spending half the day wandering and getting to know the north half of the compound, he was ready to do some useful work.  He kept trying to find someone he knew before he finally ran into Rose again.

 

“Rose! Where are you going?” he asked, jogging up to her.

 

“Grabbing a midday snack.  What about you?” she asked.  “Lost?”

 

“A little, yes.  Where does Kaydel and the rest of the intelligence group work?”

 

“Why do you want to go there?” she asked, growing suspicious.

 

“Because I learned a lot of useful things about the First Order while working there, and I want to help the Resistance out by giving them all the intelligence I know.  Why else?” he huffed.

 

“Because you’re a spy?” she said, not caring about admitting it.  “We barely know you.”

 

“I  _ know _ .  Everyone has been telling me that.  Just let me prove myself, okay?” he said.  “Don’t write me off just because I’m awkward and….”

 

He trailed off until Rose finished the thought by suggesting, “Moody?”

 

“Yeah, that,” he said, sighing and giving up on not being called that.  “Sorry. I’m not a people person after a lot of bad treatment from others.  I’ve been abandoned by a lot of people who should’ve cared about me-”

 

“No wonder you get along so well with Rey!  Sorry to hear that, Matt,” said Rose, giving him a bear hug.  “Come on, I’ll show you where it is.”

 

He hadn’t thought telling something personal like that would help, but it seemed he was wrong.  He made a mental note to remember that for next time, along with deciding to befriend Rose first.  She seemed like a genuinely nice person, if a little too much into hugging. She was also with Finn, and he needed to get on his good side somehow.  

 

When they finally made it to the most southwest part of the compound, he was greatly relieved. He was more relieved when he found out his mother wasn’t in the room.  He had memorized the path for future reference, and not having her there made it easier to concentrate, as he was afraid of facing her. Rey wasn’t there, either, which made him sad, but he figured she was out fixing things elsewhere.

 

After being grilled for thirty standard minutes about various things, he grew increasingly frustrated, so they finally stopped asking him questions about his past and why he was there. He was pretty sure they were about to kick him out despite the fact that he had told them multiple times that he had useful information if they would just  _ sit down  _ with him and talk about it for a couple hours.  He was just too nervous and cagey, and he regretted not being better at keeping his cool.  Unfortunately, he hadn’t thought through his plan well-enough for this, or had foreseen this, so it was all his fault.

 

He got lucky, though.  Just before they were about to tell him something, despite Kaydel standing by and urging them to reconsider, an encoded transmission from the First Order was intercepted.  All ran over to try and decode the transmission, and he watched them flounder for twenty standard minutes before he finally asked, “Want some help or not?”

 

“You think you can crack this? We’ve been trying to decode these for forever,” said one person, clearly not believing him.

 

“And look where it’s gotten you.  I’ve worked with this sort of stuff before.  You know, radars and all that,” he said before pushing his way in easily since he was the biggest one in there by far.

 

Kaydel handed him the transmission, as well as several more recent ones.  He started with the most recent one and easily figured it out since he had been briefed numerous times by Hux on his new, ingenious way to send sensitive, classified information. Now, all those briefs were finally coming in handy as he told everyone what the message was. 

 

“The logic never changes because General Hux is way too full of himself.  This method I just used works just as well for these older ones. Just don’t act quickly on everything at once, or else he might be forced to change it,” he said, shrugging.

 

When he finished decoding the rest, he sat down and showed all of them how to do it, as well as several other things he had learned and remembered from Hux.  After that, they welcomed him with open arms, and he was sure that they would have all the information they needed to attack within a month. As he left, Kaydel thanked him heartily, and he enjoyed the praise a little, glad to have another friend.  

 

As he walked toward his room to change and prepare for the meal, he was not prepared to see his mother cross his path.  

 

“Son,” she said, smiling wanly.

 

She was holding on tightly to her cane.  She looked so brittle and frail, much older than he remembered.  He was cautious as he approached her.

 

“Mother,” he finally said, touching her cheek.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“It doesn’t matter now.  You’re here for good, right? You’ve already done so much good already,” she said, touching his shoulder.

 

“Thank you.  Yes, I’m here for good.  Rey brought me back.”

 

“I’m not surprised,” she said as her hand tugged him down.  

 

When he bent down, she kissed his forehead.  “Welcome home, Son. I’ve missed you.”

 

He hugged her, overcome with many conflicting emotions.  He had finally found home. His mother was alive, and she still believed in him.  

 

“I love you,” he whispered before kissing her forehead in return and backing away, trying to appear indifferent, as though he didn’t know her.  “Thank you.”

 

“No one’s ever really gone.  That was what Luke told me before he went out to face you at Crait,” she said, her eyes closing in memory of her twin.  “He was right.”

 

“There’s so much-”

 

“Another time,” she said, shushing him as others approached.  “Now, remember Matt, don’t make it a habit to leave your underwear in places that porgs can reach it.  I’m sure you don’t want everyone knowing you’re up early and that you like your briefs.”

 

He mouthed an embarrassed “mother” to her as he beat a hasty retreat to his room.  Leia smiled before muttering, “Just like his father.”

 

Dinner was not painful for once.  After showing how good he was at breaking codes, everyone was singing his praises and thanking him as they sent out ships to verify the information.  It wasn’t until the end that Poe made another dig about Kylo Ren.

 

“So, Matt buddy, what inspired you to go into code breaking? Was it your old pal, Kylo Ren?”

 

“As a matter of fact, it was,” said Ben, remembering the first time Hux had insisted on telling him how the encoded message worked.  “I heard this story secondhand from an officer who saw it all happen between him and General Hux as he angrily explained it to Kylo Ren.  It was super juicy,” he said, trying to play it up.

 

“Then tell us!” cried Finn, getting into it.  

 

“It happened like this: Kylo Ren was meeting the Knights of Ren on some random planet covered in snow and ice, so communications were poor.  There he was, in his newly re-forged helmet and warmest black clothes-”

 

“We don’t care what he’s wearing,” interjected Poe.

 

“But it’s important to the story!” insisted Ben, continuing on.  “Anyway, there he was, stomping around in his black boots and black everything else-”

 

“Is that why you wear black briefs?” cracked Finn.

 

“No, that’s not it at all!” cried Ben, blushing.  “I liked it way before Kylo Ren ever did.”

 

“Go on,” soothed Rey, trying to encourage him by giving everyone at the table a look before leaning in on the table.

 

“He was trying to communicate with the Knights of Ren, but he had gone too far in one direction, going over a hill that prevented his comm from reaching the Knights.  As a result, he knew he needed to contact Hux and his ship to get back to safety. The problem was that he couldn’t just send a distress signal, as it could be found by the Resistance.  So what do you think he did?”

 

“Throw a tantrum?”

 

“Break some stuff?”

 

“Besides that,” he intoned, giving Poe and Rose looks for those comments.  

 

“He got help somehow,” said Finn.  “But how?”

 

“He used his super cool lightsaber to create a fire from one of his capes-”

 

“He has more than one cape on? Come on!” groaned Finn.  “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He just threw that one off at Crait.”

 

“He says it’s stylish.  I think it’s pretty cool, despite it being him,” said Ben, realizing he needed to stop while he was ahead.  “Anyway, he ripped off a cape and stabbed the cape with his lightsaber into the ground. The smoke and fire was enough to draw attention and allow his ship to find the large patch of black. It was one of the few times wearing black came in handy for him.  Once onboard, Hux told him in gruesome detail how to send an encoded transmission on his comm. It was  _ quite  _ the chewing out.”

 

All wished that they could’ve been there to witness it, but they were happy to have the story if nothing else.  After that, dinner ended, and Ben enjoyed training with Rey again. Every moment that involved Rey re-adjusting his stance or touching him was perfect in his mind, and he got to listen to her tell him about her day, just as they had used to over the Force Bond.  It was relaxing, despite the hard workout she put him through. It reminded him of early days training with Luke, and his mind wandered to Luke, how it was all working out for him now that he was at peace and one with the Force.

 

When they ended their training session that night, Ben went up to Rey and held out his hand.  “I brought you another pomegranate. I kept it safe, just for you.”

 

“Matt, why-”

 

“Because it’s sweet like you.  Thanks for doing this,” he said bashfully before running out of the room.

 

Ben found himself facing the sad porg eyes yet again as soon as he rounded the first corner.

 

“No. I refuse.  You betrayed my trust this morning, and my reputation is forever ruined because of you,” he said, rushing off before he gave in.  They followed him all the way to his room, and he shut the door in their sad faces.

 

He sighed in relief.  He had survived the trial. He was safe for the night.

 

“Hey, kid.”

 

“Ah!” 

 

Ben was sure that he was waking up people around him yet again as he turned to face the familiar voice that couldn’t possibly be there. 

 

In a whisper, he asked accusingly, “Uncle Luke? What are you doing here?”

 

Luke rolled his eyes and moved toward his nephew, walking through a chair to reach him.

 

“What does it look like? I’m here to give you dating advice since your old man sucked at it, clearly. Since when is giving fruit and calling a girl sweet sound like a good idea? Friends don’t do that, either.  Up your game, kid,” cracked Luke, giving him a disappointed look.

 

“As I recall, you were never married.  You don’t have room to talk,” grumbled Ben, not wanting to discuss his love life with his dead uncle.

 

“Too late.  Besides, I told you not to strike me down in anger,” stated Luke, folding his arms in front of him.

 

“But you weren’t even there!” cried Ben, throwing up his hands.

 

“That’s not the point.  You haven’t learned yet, and so I’m here to help you.  Get used to seeing me more often. See you around, kid,” said Luke before disappearing.

 

Ben sighed and opened the door, rather surprised to see the porgs still at the doorway.  He opened the door wider and encouraged them to come inside.

 

“If I’m going to have to deal with cranky Force Ghosts, I might as well have moral support,” he muttered as he climbed into bed, the porgs gathered around him that night.  “I hope he’s afraid of them and their nesting ways.”

 

“Don’t count on it,” said Luke before disappearing again.

 

Ben glared at the spot where Luke had been.  A part of him was annoyed to see him again. He had just made peace with Luke in his mind at long last. Why was this necessary? What hadn’t he learned? Another part of him was glad that Luke didn’t hate him.  Maybe Luke would still be able to forgive him one day. 

 

He thought he would have trouble sleeping that night because of Luke, but he was proven wrong.  There was nothing quite like a stressful day to wear one out and warm cuddles from porgs to fix it all at the end.  The only thing that could’ve made it better was Rey, and even then, he saw her through the bond beside him. He fell asleep with a smile on his face and a hand curled in his.     
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the silliness!


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